Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
