if you like me you must not know who I am
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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