True but thats because hes a fetus.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
