sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
