You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Randomize
