I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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