Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
