Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
