Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
