Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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