There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
