I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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