So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
