pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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