Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
