Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
they're like a gay fantastic four
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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