i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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