your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
