I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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