Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
