Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Panties = found
Randomize
