I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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