dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We just shotgunned beers for America
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
