I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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