All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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