I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
