____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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