My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
