oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Sorry about my life...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
