I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
