honey bunches of taint.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
