you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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