Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
