dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
