Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
