Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
love makes seman taste better
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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