Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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