i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
