I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
