Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
