piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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