Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
