I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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