Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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