Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
