I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
