she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
