i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
