She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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