so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
