Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
