I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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