had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Operation Purity has been aborted
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Randomize
